The Words I Never Said
These are the words I never said to my past lovers or friends. I hope that our journey together helped you grow as a person and that the next star to fall for you is treated better than you treated me. You shot for the Moon, and missed, so now you must lay among the stars.
CLICK LOVERS TO BEGIN!
LOVERS
These are meant for closure, not to hurt anyone. Let's hope you don't see your name, or hope that you do and you can find closure.
Adam
These are the words I never said to you while we were together.
I dont remember much of our relationship to be honest. I dont really remember the reason we broke up.
But I remember the aftermath, I remember how broken hearted I made you. Ultimately I only remember that you wanted to go pro for csgo, and couldn't make time for me. And over the years we have still stayed as friends and talked and gamed every now and then. We are silent really, don't talk much anymore. But you deserve to find peace and love and pure happiness and I hope that some how, the hurt I gave you has helped you grow as a man, so that one day you can take care of a woman in the best possible way. Thank you for the Karmic Relationship, I am thankful for the lesson you taught me.
Alec
These are the words I never said to you while we were together.
I never got to meet you, but we shared 5 great months. I'm sorry that I lied. I'm sorry I pushed you away. But we both know we are better off. We have our futures and we have our dreams, our life. Thank you for being good to me. I hope the universe has laid out the right path for you.
I hope that when you look up in the sky at night, you still think of me.
Betty
These are the words I never said in the calls you never sent..
I fell in love with you. The first girl to steal my heart. Thank you for the sugar you gave me. I'm happy we are still friends. I'm happy we are still in eachothers lives, and I hope soon we can finally meet in person. Please always remember you are amazing, wonderful and kind. Love yourself before anyone else. You deserve the world.
If you ever feel lonely, look up at the night sky and you'll seek comfort in me.
Colton
These are the words I never said when we were together.
I hope you find peace with your life and future, enjoy.
I never intended to love you, or parts of you. You were my best friend, and I'm happy I saved your life. I'm happy it ended how it did. Because you are still my best friend and we still have our love in our own ways. I'm proud of you for your growth. You grew in more ways than one, and you finally recognizing your worth will be my favorite thing to look forward to. Please never give up on yourself, your dreams, or your future. You will find a way through the rough waters as I have. Thank you for being there for me when I needed a shoulder and you know im always there to tell you how it is. No bullshit.
Please never forget I am your lifeline for anything. Being your friend has been easier than your girlfriend. I hope we can keep it that way.
Connor
These are the words I never said while we were together, I hope you find closure in them.
I never should have played with your heart, I lied to you, and hung on to you for so long, I hurt you. And I never wanted to hurt you. To be honest, I love you. I never stopped. You were everything I loved about a guy. But I should have worked harder on leaving my current relationship, and putting myself first. I blew my chance with you, so please know I'm sorry for how everything transpired. You deserved better. I hope the universe has treated you well.
Esteban
These are the words I never said to you when I would disappear.
You found me like a needle in a hay stack, a random arcade match and the synergy of our emp/bunnybombs. We were like twin flames roaring over emotion. Friendship was first, music formed us. We shared songs, then films. I told you my situation, you let me find comfort in you. We fell, harder than I ever even wanted.. but we made a mess and when June 8th came, and everything was dead and over I thought I'd be coming home to you. I faked stomachs after stomach aches just to find peace in the bathroom to text you, "he knows, he knows im sorry we can't talk anymore..." then a year later, it happened again new apartment same game new map new arcade, this time you were on the enemy team and I got the 4k that made you think "damn she still has it" we started talking again and you told me you wanted me, all you want is me.. but we fell apart again, I couldn't risk him finding you again.You were the first one to tell me to leave and the last one to know when I finally did.
Our third time finding eachother, you fell for me again, or you said you never stopped, I forgot really because the truth is. I don't know if I have loved anything. Or anyone. I feel love or what I think love feels like, but if I'm willing to hurt people so bad, do I really love that person? Shouldn't the person I could never hurt be the person I love, like really love?
We talk still, sometimes. Once a month now it seems, you and I have our lives but we check in with eachother when we can. Im thankful for you Love, and all you have taught me about feelings and relationships. You are a good one.
Gibson
These are the words I never said to you.
I had a boyfriend, we lived together. He treated me badly and I seeked comfort and attention from you. But I did like you. I thought you were great and when XXX died, all I thought about was you. I miss playing WoW with you, hopefully one day I'll see you around. I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway, but with time I hope you found your path in life. I believe in you, I am proud of you. Thank you.
Kameron
These are the words I never said when we were together.
I hope that with time you grow to be a better person, and I hope you will mature and learn to love yourself as I tried to. There is nothing else in life that will set yourself back more than yourself. I know you have the potential to have a good life, and to be ambitious. You just need to log out, and try to live out in the real world, care about your family, work out, eat better, drink water.
The Truth is my dear, after 2 months I wanted to break up. But I didn't know how to do it. It was selfish of me to try and keep loving you when I never did. I was attracted and enjoyed never being alone. I loved your friends, and still talk to them to this day. I didnt fall in love with you for a few reasons.
FIRST: your emotional and physical immaturity. You can whine and cry to me that I was just as immature but I know that I was the adult and you were the baby the whole time. You never knew how to handle situations that caused our world to come crashing down. Instead of communicating you ran away. You used your childhood trauma over and over to try and justify why you controlled things, why you did things. You manipulated me constantly emotionally.
SECOND: Your insecurities. They completely ruined my ability to fall in love with you because it was like a giant wall that kept me from learning your vulnerabilities. You were physically insecure as well. I tried my best to let you know nothing was wrong with you but I guess you could feel my inability to love you. I hope that the trauma I may have given you that you now use to manipulate other girls, may teach you a lesson in time. I hope that Karma works well for you, and you can soon be a good man for a good woman. Thank you for the Karmic Relationship, I am thankful for our journey together. Enjoy sleeping with the stars, im sure she shall find you soon.
Kyle
These are the words I never said when we were together.
My anxiety and fear that I lived with kept me from being my true authentic self for you, although you were the main cause of why I changed myself and formed to the mold I knew you wanted, I dont want you to go your whole life without knowing these things. And in time I hope you will grow as the universe has allowed me to since I left you a year ago. Enjoy.
When we were long distant, and you would call me after road trip calls, just to tell me I disappointed you, or embarrassed you with me being myself, it made me feel very small and that I was a bad person. I stopped wanting to be me. I stopped wanting to talk. But it was hard because how can I fully stop being me. I messed up to you over and over throughout our relationship. I was the one with the problem you said, I was dropped on my head you said. I didn't know how to do simple tasks you said. Locking myself in the bathroom just to cry in the mirror was the only thing I had. I cheated because I wanted to leave you, I wanted someone to love the parts of me you thought were misprinted and outdated. I would apologize for all the manic episodes I had, and the crazy things i did while I was manic, but im not sorry anymore. I was once. When I was yours. I was always the sorry one. But no longer will I apologize when I've come to realize that my manic episodes are only triggered by people treating me terrible. And that's what you did. You treated me terrible, and thus slowly I started to treat you bad too. I'm not excusing my bad behavior as my mental health, but I will point out, when a man treats me with respect and dignity, I dont have manic episodes, I dont have panic attacks, I don't feel crazy with the good ones. I spent 4 years with you battling my depression of being stuck in a relationship with you, and now im blooming, blossomed and beautiful. And now it is your turn to feel what I went through for years. Karma has come and you must pay her price. Hopefully when a new star comes to you, you can love her the right way, and she won't leave with a lifetime of trauma like me.
And to set the record straight, I never wanted to go through with the abortion, I never wanted to go through something like that. And for you to tell me after we broke up that if I fought hard enough and told you how I felt you would have listened is bullshit. The only thing you cared about was how it would effect your schooling, your future, your family. You never once said us, how are we going to get through this. It was always about you, just like our whole relationship. I know how two faced you are when it comes to your friendships, I know how you talked about everyone. You will never fool me. You will never understand the hurt I felt. You will never feel what I felt on Nov 4th. And that is why I drove away.
Richard
These are the words I never said to you while we were together, they are not meant to hurt you and I hope they help you find closure.
You were, and are , and always will be my first love.
My first kiss, my first hand hold, my first cuddle.
You took alot of my firsts, and you were the first to show me how I didnt want to be loved. I was 14, you were 18. I was a child, you were an adult. I do not regret you, but I do regret not giving myself the childhood I needed in high school. I gave up most of that to be your girlfriend. I worked hard to mold myself for you to be older and prettier. I never knew what anxiety was till you. I dont think you are the reason I have it, but I do believe it came about at the wrong time, and that if we met now. 10 years later things would be different. Since moving home in April 2020, I kept thinking if I should return the 70 dollars I owe you. But everyone said you'd probably forgotten. I never did.
In all through and through the only memory I keep close since the moment it happened, to today is when you first took me to the beach over at Howarth Park. It was my first time going to Howarth, and I had accidentally stepped on a barnacle and it cut my foot open. I remember you piggyback riding me to your truck. You took me home, and carried me to the bath tub. You washed my foot and put a bandaid on it. Every time someone asks me to clear my head of all thoughts, for some reason that memory is the memory that I think of when I go to clear my head. I think it was impactful to me because it was the first time someone cared for me like that. I loved you till the moments that I didn't. If I had to pick a relationship that was a good one at the wrong time. I would pick ours. I wrote this blog to help give closure to those who needed it, I do not feel the need I need to apologize but the one thing I would apologize for with us, is im sorry we didn't meet later in life, we would have been a knockout. I hope your life is well, and know that I forgive you for the pain I felt in our relationship. I forgive you for taking my innocence, even if I didn't say no, I dont think I should have explored with you at 14. Maybe one day, we can laugh about our old happy memories over coffee.
I hope the universe is treating you well, and I hope you grew into a good man.
Thank you for loving me.
COMING SOON
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